Alone and Afraid

Alex Gaskarth, warning parents since 2009.

  • Alex: 'To whom it may concern. I would like to start this email by first stating that I am 57 years old. I've gone to hundreds of concerts in my life time-' Clearly.
  • 'And am the administrator of a site on Facebook for the southern rock group, The Outlaws.' Sounds badass. Uhm...
  • 'I've done interviews with present and former band members, to music reviews for Amazon's nights and weekends-' That sounds like bullshit. Uhm... 'And have been in the company of many professional musicians.' Oh. Good for you, man; you've met Cher.
  • Jack: I want to meet Cher.
  • Alex: He is a pedophile, I'll have you know... 'Last night I took my daughter along with her friend to the Starland Ballroom to their first concert. I had heard some of the band's music from when my daughter had played their songs, and I found the music to be quite catchy and enjoyed the songs I heard.-' Before I go on, before I go on, I would like to point out that one of our songs is about a one night stand, and I definitely say 'casual fuck' in the verse.
  • Rian: *Rim shot on drums*
  • Alex: So, before a man brings his fourteen year old daughter with the impression that we're a 'polite group' he should pay attention to that lyric.
  • 'The show the group played was an underage show.' No it wasn't, anyone was allowed to come, haha. My parents were there! No they weren't...
  • 'This is where I have a problem with the group. The band should have been condescent-' Nice word. 'of the fact that there were many teens, primarily girls.'
  • 'I found the language of the group deplorable, rude, offensive and vulgar.'
  • Jack: Fuck!
  • Alex: 'Other parents who were in the same area where I was sitting had the same opinion.' Hey, parents? I'm watching you. If I see any of you complaining tonight... This guitar? Wailing it at your face. Hahah. Oh, I kid, I kid... But seriously, let's go on. Ahem.
  • Hold on, this is my favourite part!
  • 'Examples were the constant use of the F word,'
  • Crowd: *Noises of discontent*
  • Alex: Hang on, best part, best part haha. 'And your singer telling somebody who was a member of the road crew to perform oral sex on him.' Wait! There's more! 'But saying that very graphically and describing the size of the penis.'
  • So basically I said, 'Hey Danny, suck my tiny dick.' that's probably what I said, something along those lines. Now, let me see if there's anything else funny on here.
  • Zack: What about Jersey?
  • Alex: Oh yeah! Wait, where is it? Oh! 'What I also found offensive was that your group was playing in Jersey making a comment that the best thing about Jersey is that the girls there are easy to sleep with.' However, however! That is true! That is just a well known fucking fact!
  • Zack: And then it says stuff about the smells too.
  • Alex: Wait, yeah yeah. And then he continues to say, 'And the comments about the smell of the state of New Jersey also were offensive.' It is not my fault that the fucking river under the bridge smells like a diaper! I can't help it. Clean up your act New Jersey, and I won't complain about it! So, before any more of you angry, angry parents decides to email our manager about us, remember that I will read your email on stage and make fun of you!
Via Falling skyward.

gerardandlindseyway:

MCR stuff giveaway!

I’m giving away the following items (some of the pictures are taken from google images cos I was too lazy to take my own, products are the same though)

  • one Acid Embrace ‘Killjoys make some noise’ shirt in M
  • one Acid Embrace ‘Look alive sunshine’ pillowcase
  • one Frank Iero guitar pick (the penis one)
  • one MCR Kerrang poster special 
  • one HQ  Gerard print 70x50cm (high-gloss paper) 
  • a $50 voucher for the MCR online store (not pictured)

Rules

  • reblog as many times as you want, likes also count
  • you don’t have to follow me but it’d be nice if you did
  • I ship worldwide
  • blogs created for the giveaway don’t count
  • ends June 1st
  • if you don’t want to spend the $50 at the MCR online shop, something else can be arranged
  • I don’t favour anyone so please don’t message me :)

Good luck and happy reblogging!


Via Just A Girl With A Dream...


(Source: hearts0re)



(Source: gofuckingnuts)



my-organic-romance:

Short Stack posters giveway

So there are FIVE A4 posters, THREE A3 posters, and FOUR A2 posters. All ones I’ve collected since ‘09. 

Basically, just reblog this ONCE, don’t spam everyone. I won’t pick someone who has reblogged more than once. 

You don’t have to be following me (but hey, why not?! :P)

So yeah I’ll pick the winner in a week :) Inbox me if you have any queries :) xx

(Source: johnny-depp-touch-me-where-i-pee)


Via Falling skyward.

We can't stop here, this is Bat Country!: Short Stack's old Myspace description

foreverjustwontbethesame:

This is the part where we are supposed to list the reasons why we are the best band in the world and why you should buy our records and want to sleep with us. But lying is what boys like us do best, so lets roll. (You have to pretend I’m dictating this to a small circa 18th Century English…

Via We can't stop here, this is Bat Country!




So how long are you going to stay with me?

Forever.


Via you'll be my valentine




the-absolute-funniest-posts:

Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
Check out their new livery!
 And have a read about their Customer Relations.


Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg.  Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:


On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”

                —-o0o—-

On another flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

                ——o0o—-

On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”

                ——o0o—-

“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”

                —-o0o—-

“Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

                —-o0o—-

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”

                —-o0o—-

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”

                —-o0o—-

From a Kulula employee: ” Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth.  To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”

                —-o0o—-

“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.”

                —-o0o—-

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines.”

                ——o0o—-

“Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

                —-o0o—-

“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.  Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

                —-o0o—-

And from the pilot during his welcome message: “Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”

                —-o0o—-

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”

                —-o0o—-

Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our
airplane to the gate!”

                —-o0o—-

Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

                —-o0o—-

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.  Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?”  “Why, no Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land, or were we shot down?”

                —-o0o—-

After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal..”

                —-o0o—-

Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways.”

                —-o0o—-

Heard on a Kulula flight. “Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light ‘em, you can smoke ‘em.”

                —-o0o—-

A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a  comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.  Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore,
 we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax… OH, MY GOODNESS!”  Silence  followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.  While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!”  A passenger then yelled, “That’s nothing. You should see the back of mine!”

If Douglas Richardson ran MJN

Is it bad that I really badly want to fly with them. Even considered their landings…

Real life Cabin Pressure?

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

(Source: nichellen)


Via I Am The Master Commander




gold-cotton:

I love you Olivia

(Source: monpetitpalais)



breathinyourlungs:

treacherousgnome:

When people ask, “How did you FAIL Creative Writing?!”

^this is like literally my life. 



(Source: synodik)



(Source: skate-high)


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